This is a topic close to my heart.
Literally.
Maybe not one for the guys. However, feel free to read on, men!
When I went in for surgery, I was told to take off ALL my clothes and put on a gown, 2 single leg stockings, and a set of yellow footies.
So, I was feeling quite naked by the time I got back into my bed and get prepped for surgery. I reminded myself that these people are professionals and surely they have seen worse patients than me.
Then, I realized as we were moving through the hallways toward the surgical theater that my chest was all over the place. It was a little unnerving.
Upon waking up, I didn’t think much about it until a few hours after surgery when they asked me to to stand and try to take a walk. When I sat up, I felt like my shoulders would rip right off.
See, I am no small girl. Especially in the chest department. I wear a 36J. Did you know that size existed? Many people don’t. It is a struggle because getting them smaller costs a whole lot more than getting them bigger.
Anywho, the two grapefruits of my body had a mighty pull on my shoulder muscles which were sore from my neck being cut open. I managed to sit up, then demanded to lay back down because it wasn’t working out for me.
Over the next couple of days I was able to walk short distances with help and I got used to the pulling sensation. When I left the hospital, must have been my first time out without a bra in like, 20 years.
It was freeing even though I was only going to my sister’s house to recover. I spent days there, bra-free until December 11th when I had my first post-op visit. I decided a sports bra might be more comfortable. It’s soft, no underwire, breathable.
I was wrong. See, the t-strap made sure to touch every part close to my neck that causes pain and then add in the weight that is pulling on those tender parts. Getting it off was another story for a different blog.
So, it wasn’t really better. On the 17th I decided to wear a more standard bra. I was surprised at how much easier than I thought it would be to hook it. The straps were farther apart which made it much less painful, but every bra is pretty stupid feeling after a few hours, so I was glad to get home and get it off.
It’s hard to believe that in 30 days, I have only worn the boulder holder around four times. It’s not really my thing right now.
I honestly don’t know if or how this affects the population of women who have decompression surgery with less endowment. It is still a new type of life for me. As I get stronger, it is easier to wear the beast, but at home, I am not above sitting them on a pillow to help take some weight off my healing bits.
No part of recovery is pretty until recovery returns you to normalcy. I wondered if I would write about this topic because in our culture breasts are considered vulgar unless they are selling something or attracting men. People don’t want to see you without a bra on unless you are “perky” because that’s not pretty. People don’t want to see you breastfeed because that is gross. I am a human, yet at the times I trudge through the store in my pj’s and no bra, I am looked at like a slob, not a woman who just had her skull cut open and her brain heat-shrunk.
I don’t tend to care what people think, but surgery and recovery put your emotions in a fragile place. If this is your case, remember, at the end of the day, you only have to worry about getting better. How I look is not who I am. I will be back at work. I will be back teaching and going to school. But until then, I am going to run around free from unnecessary constraint and focus on getting stronger. You should too. The, when you are all better, throw on that Wonder bra and rejoin the world of upheld boobies!
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